if you follow me on anything aside from this blog, you’ll notice i cut my hair. again.
who even am i? i remember when i used to turn my face up at the mere thought of cutting dead ends. now i gladly walk up to a barber and ask them to shave my head. seriously, if you knew me at 18, this is something you would’ve never imagined.
one thing that held true through my entire adolescent years was the fact that i loved my hair. i especially loved its length. not like it was down my back or anything magnificent. but it was mine, it was pretty damn healthy, and i was proud of it. it was beautiful, it was natural, and it was versatile. my mom never put a perm in our hair, and i thank her behind her back for it all the time. although i started getting my hair straightened on a biweekly basis at the age of 11, i have always been natural. this kept my hair in good standing. but, me and my mom had a deal after high school. graduation = hair color.
a few months (and colors) later, i decided i was going to cut it some more. by some more, i mean alot. it was the same year i turned 21. and i changed, alot. my life changed, alot. it was around thanksgiving of 2015, and it was time for the big chop. i did it partially for the health of my hair, but mostly because i felt different and i wanted to look different. my mom gave me a hairstyle that was to die for, and i dyed my hair a greyish purple. i was definitely a new woman. but i grew tired of it quickly, because i wasn’t a fan of the cut with my natural curls. so i completely shaved my sides so i could have a fade & enjoy my curls again. i kept it short, kept appointments with my barber.
but then i got busy, and i stopped getting it cut, so it was growing back. and let me tell you, fades do not grow back in a flattering shape. so later that year, i shaved it down to an even length. i started over and decided i was going to cater to the health of my hair this time. was i cute bald? yes. but i have way more fun when my hair can fit into a bun. my hair was growing, flourishing. unfortunately, the thought of drastic color changes came back to me.
as you can see i went back & forth, from bleached hair to jet black back to bleached. and that last round of bleach didn’t do me any favors. my ends were dead. so…
i cut my hair in october 2018. i got out the shower one morning, and i just wasn’t feeling my curls. they were so loose that nothing would help them hold a curl. i had tried finger coils, flexi rods, perm rods, twists. half of my curls were gone. i thought about what it would take to revive my curls, and i was not convinced i could do it. i sat around for about an hour before driving to the nearest hair cuttery to just shave my head. shaving my head comes with ease these days. saying goodbye to a few inches doesn’t break my heart anymore. i’m in love with the process. i know that i’m the one damaging it, but color is just hard for me to resist.
in these last few months, i have resisted every urge to dye my hair. i’m adjusting my diet & hair care routine. my goal this time is increased strength & length retention. the most important thing i’ve learned through all my experiments with my hair is that, it is just hair. i’m so happy i learned to let go of the mentality that my hair was a defining factor of my beauty. it’s moreso an extension. it adds to my beauty, sure. but my beauty remains no matter the length. the health of my hair is now prioritized over the legth of it. so sometimes i make the mistake of overprocessing, and causing grave damage to my hair. but i take my L & just start my process all over, knowing that it’s not that big a deal to just let it go.
this is how far i’ve come in three months. where do you think i’ll be at the end of this year? this is my first real hair journey. i have hair goals & i’m actually working on achieving them. are you on a hair journey this year too? let me know if we’re in this together. let me know your own hair journey! i’m all ears ladies (and gents too)!